SYNOPSIS:
Dalton,
I loved you once. A love I thought irrevocable. A love I
mistakenly believed could transcend both time and circumstance. Under the
influence of my dimwitted, naïve, traitorous heart, I became intoxicated with what
I now know was simply a figment of my self-indulgent imagination. So drunk on
the feeling, I couldn’t see what was right in front of my face. So foolishly
enamored, I blindly followed my heart into the depths of an emotion that would
ravage me.
Years later, I know now what I wish I knew then. I am
stronger. Smarter. Tougher. I will not allow myself to be broken again.
I loved you.
I raged for you.
I wept for you.
And now, I’m letting you go.
Author’s Note: Under
the Influence is the journey of two childhood friends that spans the course of
five pivotal years in their lives. It is a story about their discovery of true
friendship as it blossoms into first love, their experience of crucial
sacrifice and ultimate betrayal, and their endurance of agonizing heartbreak on
the way to finding lasting redemption.
Goodreads: https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/23165655-under-the-influence
Excerpt:
Spencer POV:
Dalton’s voice is thick as
he begins to speak. “I’m sorry, Spence. I
know I hurt you—”
I shake my head dismissively.
“You didn’t hurt me. I’m
just tired.”
The corners of his
mouth dip downward and he lifts his hand, placing his palm against my cheek and
swiping the moisture with his thumb. My heart would typically melt at the
tenderness of the gesture, but now I find it only aggravates me. I narrow my
eyes and shove his hand away from my face.
“Don’t do that. Don’t do something you
don’t mean.”
Channeling my
sorrow, anger begins to churn as I step away and turn my back on him. My bare
feet carry me to the wooden rail that lines my porch and I brace my good hand
against it, leaning forward and inhaling deeply.
Dalton growls with
frustration. “What the fuck? Of
course I mean it. The last thing I want to do is hurt you, Spence. I’m trying to
apologize here.”
I laugh humorlessly
and turn to face him. “For
what, exactly? For stalking me on my date tonight?”
His blue eyes now
heat with a different emotion as they slice to mine. “The date in which
you were being manhandled by some fucking loser who asked you out for no other
reason than to get back at me?”
He scoffs openly. “You
should be thanking me.”
I cease the fight
to hold back my tears, permitting them to flow freely as I respond. “I handled it, did I
not? I don’t need you to
protect me, Dalton. I can take care of myself.”
He chuckles,
unsmiling, as he removes his cap and throws it to the ground, dragging his
fingers through his hair in irritation. My glare hardens as I continue my rant.
“And yes, he asked
me out to get back at you. Are you apologizing for that? Or are you
apologizing for the fact that because of your stupid crusade against me dating
anyone EVER, I was so excited to be asked out that I accepted a date with said
fucking loser because I wanted to know what it would be like to actually be
wanted for once?” Not entirely true, but true enough to make my point.
My breaths are
heavy and my pulse is thrumming rapidly through my entire body. I angrily wipe
away the tears as I inquire, “Why
is that, Dalton? Why is it that you don’t want me, but no one else is allowed to have me?” I shake my head in
frustration as I stumble on my words. “I just…I don’t understand.” My voice trembles and my chin quivers with the admission.
Dalton heavy boots
sound as he stalks across the porch. I avert my gaze, but once he’s in front of me,
he curls his fingers around my chin and pulls my face into his line of sight.
His eyes burn into mine as they narrow in earnest.
“You think I don’t want you? Goddamn it, Spencer,” he bites, “I want you so much I can’t fucking breathe when
I’m not with you.
Every single time I force myself to walk away from you, I feel nothing but
agony as the anger that simmers here,” he breaks to pound his closed fist on his
chest, “breaks free and
chars my insides with each step I take.”
His eyes begin to
glisten and his jaw tightens as he shakes his head. “I can’t fucking breathe
without you, don’t
you get it? I want you so much that being without you is absolute torture.”
He swallows deeply
and moisture seeps from my eyes at the sight of his exposed emotion as he
continues. “I want you, Spence,
but I can’t have you. I won’t allow it. You’re too good, too
pure, too innocent, and just as your presence soothes me, mine will eventually
flaw you. It’s inevitable, and I
care too much for you to let that happen.”
I watch a lone tear
fall from the corner of his eye before he concludes, “But you’re right. Even
thinking about you with someone else, with someone else’s arms around you
as you look into their eyes the same way you’re looking into mine right now, I just…” He casts his stare
downward and shakes his head. “I just can’t. So I guess I’m
just a selfish, heartless prick, because where does that leave you?”
The tear finally
falls free from his chin, and I watch it strike the wood beneath our feet
before placing my hands on the side of his face and forcing his eyes to mine.
My voice trembles as I speak. “I
know you like to control things, Dalton. That’s how you’ve learned to cope and I understand that, but you don’t control me. My
feelings. My heart. And even though you feel you don’t deserve those
things, that they’re
not yours to have, you’re
mistaken.”
I tighten my grip
as he tries to look away and state with emphasis, “You ask where that
leaves me? Well, it leaves me right in the same place, on this same porch, as I
was six years ago when I met you. The day that all of those things you think
you can’t have I willingly
handed over without question.”
Releasing my hold,
I turn away from him, knowing his refusal will absolutely destroy me as I state
into the night air, “I
have always belonged to you. I will always belong to you. Regardless of what you’ve done, what you
do, or what you will do, I will forever be yours. And that’s my choice
to make, whether you choose me or not.”
Review: 4.75 of 5 stars
L.B. Simmons continues to impress me with her storytelling ability. I first fell in love with her writing when I read Running on Empty. Since then I have devoured all of her books and loved every minute of it. When I read the synopsis and saw the cover for Under the Influence I knew that I was going to fall in love again!
Dalton is a tortured soul from page one. I had no clue what happened to him in the beginning but I knew that whatever it was forced him to live with some major demons. A product of terrible luck and being in the foster system, Dalton made some choices as a child that haunt him daily. He has an internal struggle with deserving any sort of happiness and seems to only find solace when he is around Spencer Locke.
Spencer's mom is a foster parent and volunteer at the shelter for abused women and children. She met Dalton when he needed emergency foster care at the age of 14. Even though Spencer knows that Dalton needs to seek some help with his burdens she never pushes him but is undeniably drawn to him. Spencer is one of my all time favorite characters. She is a kind person that is unselfish. Her positive outlook seems to be the polar opposite of Dalton, but you know opposites attract. And perhaps Spencer's life is not as perfect as it appears on the outside.
Honestly, from page one I was completely under the control of this book. I could not put it down! I am so happy that the author chose to write the book in 3 parts. I was so happy with the format she chose for Part 2 and think that it is a perfect way to see time elapse without getting bored. The beautiful story woven in the pages of this book is one of the best of 2015. I didn't think that L.B. Simmons would continue to impress after The Resurrection of Aubrey Miller, but she seems to entrance me with her stories every time. I appreciate the fact that she puts a lot of thought into her books. They are all completely different from each other yet so amazing.
L.B. Simmons is a graduate of Texas A&M University and
holds a degree in Biomedical Science.
She has been a practicing Chemist for the last 11 years. She lives with her husband and three
daughters in Texas and writes every chance she gets.
NEWSLETTER: http://eepurl.com/beZAsj
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I was about to marry the man of my dreams. 
Jennifer Foor is
an award winning Contemporary Romance Author. She's best known for the Mitchell
Family Series, which includes ten books.
